Back to work!

So I'm back in the world of work, and I have to say that I much prefer swanning around Italy living the 'life of riley' feeling all smug. I was worried that my transition to the work would not be seamless, and that I had forgotten how to work. However, my friends had reassured me that it would all come flooding back to me, and it has. Like a tidal wave, on it's path of pure destruction...

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be earning money again, and, I have a lovely window seat in the office now, as opposed to the felt covered -Berlin wall that previously used to greet me every morning in the office. However, this seat comes with a price, and the price is potential pregnancy. You see, all of the women that have sat in this seat recently have become pregnant. Upon receipt of this information, the inquisitive side of me appeared and I took swift action by looking under the seat for any incriminating evidence in the form of a very small man. Fortunately, no small man was found lurking under my seat ready to pounce, so the mystery continues for the meantime at least, but I will get to the bottom of this...

Anyway, I have a wonderful 2 hour 15 minute commute to work filled with many non-events to keep me visually stimulated. The prize for the non-event for the week has to go to the man who got his nose stuck in the closing tube doors, with a close runner-up prize going to the old lady who did a non-consensual pole dance when the driver was a bit too over-zealous with the breaks. I've also made a general observation that 'Deep Heat' is being used as the cologne/pheromone of choice for my commuters these days, that along with the eclectic fragrance of moth-balls for some women. 

Aside from work, I've been keeping myself busy with upcoming photography and film projects, so hopefully you will get to see the fruits of my labour in the the year, but only if I deem it worthy for your eyes of course!

I don't usually post music on this blog, but I'm loving this tune right now, it puts me in the "mood for love" which is a bit much for a Monday night, but there you go! Enjoy!

xx

Back in the room

BACK IN THE ROOM

So I think I can safely say that I'm now 'back in the room'. I've purchased some superglue from the local 99p shop, and I have successfully glued back the pieces of the broken heart I had. I wasn't sure if 'GloyGum'* would do the trick on this occasion, so I made sure that I bought some of the really strong stuff. The stuff that has the added bonus of getting you high at the same time. Of course I'm not condoning glue-sniffing of course, as not only is it dangerous, it is so 1985...

*for anyone who doesn't remember Gloygum, this 'glue' (if you can call it that) was imposed on us in primary school and was pretty useless at even sticking two pieces of paper together.

EYES WIDE OPEN

Yesterday me and my two friends from Bologna took a guided tour of the street art in East London with our rather handsome and charming guide. If you are interested in street art I would definitely recommend this walk! The only drawback to the tour was the incessant rain! After 4 hours I had more water swishing inside my boots than can be found in the River Thames. However I was amazed that despite living in East London for the past few years, I hadn't noticed exactly how much amazing street art I was surrounded by. It goes to show how you can walk around with your eyes closed. Well my eyes have definitely been prised back open, in more ways than one. They are well and truly open for business...

SHOOTS

So I've been spending a lot of my time working on my next project which I will be shooting on the 9th December. It will be one of the first times that I actually shoot a short film based around the same concept as my photos, so we will see how it pans out. I did try my hand at directing some of the scenes for a short 5 minute film that we shot in North London last week. So once this film is available I will post the link on here. I met some lovely people during my two days, and hopefully picked up some useful tips on story-boarding, directing and shooting. Stanley Kubrick, watch yer back !

Cheerio for now! 

Melancholy and all that rubbish...

Hello There!

I can see how this blog has gone from a tale of my journey over the last 6 months, from Italy to Sint Maarten and back to London. As in life, this journey took a strange and rather unpleasant turn, and I'm in danger of this blog becoming a diary of my emotional journey over and above anything else. Hopefully this will be short-lived and I'll be back to my sarcastic self in no time, it won't be all doom and gloom, so hang in there with me...

I don't keep a diary, although I met a photographer friend for dinner last Sunday who showed me his book filled with notes and interesting drawings and some random thoughts and observations from everyday life. Unfortunately my nosy side wasn't satiated, as his scribblings were all in Italian, and I can't read it at a 180 degree angle. It was a cross between my concept book and a diary, and I thought that this could be a fantastic idea worth stealing. For now however, this is my only written outlet, and although I have battled about how frank I can be on a blog, considering it is not private. I've decided that I'm going to keep it updated.  It may not be a pleasant ride, or an easy read at times, so I suggest that you bring your own sick-bags if you wish to read any further, I can't afford to provide you with these.

I'm going to cut to the chase, but if you haven't realised this already, the last 6 months was difficult; very difficult. I chose to give up my flat, my job, and inevitably ended up destroying the relationship with my boyfriend of just under two years. I made those choices of course (with the exception of the relationship, in my heart of hearts I ended up throwing something away that I now regret). I have no-one else to blame of course, and you have to live with your choices and the consequences of your actions and words.

I believe that there is a positive to every experience, no matter how traumatic or painful. Right now, I can say that if I hadn't of left for Italy, I would have regretted it. It was something I had always wanted to do, and I think you tend to regret the things that you don't ever try. Another positive is that I met some lovely people, and made a couple of lovely friends. One of which is coming over to visit in the next few weeks, and I managed to convince the other guy to come and live in London for a while (god, he is probably going to resent me for this). However, above all, I realised a few things:

THE MISSING ELEMENT - HOME

First of all, I understand that I acted selfishly in leaving my boyfriend in London for this time, and with an expectation that our relationship would not be affected. I considered myself very lucky to have a guy who was so supportive of letting me go and follow my dream, and the thing is, I was; very lucky. The thing with me, is that I've always been in search of that missing element in my life-the place where I belong. The problem is, is that I had no idea exactly where that is, and unfortunately, I think this is half my problem. 

In danger of using a cheesy metaphor, I realised that I've always been that girl who is standing at the cross-roads, wanting to go somewhere where I will feel at home. However, as I like to make things difficult for myself, not having a good idea of where that place is only proves to make my life journey very long, sometimes fruitless, sometimes painful and in danger of becoming arduous. It seems that I'm a bit of a perpetual floater, so don't try and flush me down...

The only thing I do know, is that I have not yet found that home. Maybe I should take the advice of Judy Garland, purchase a pair of red glittery shoes, snap my heels together and BANG, I've found myself a place I can call home. So in summary, and in the words of Bono, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"....

THE BROKEN HEART

I've only suffered from a broken heart twice in my life, this being the second time. I've only suffered with depression twice in my life, this being the second time also. Of course, for the former, this won't be the last. For the latter, I hope that I never have to go through this again; it's my nemesis, my Darth Vader and that hoodie-wearing rascal is trying to kill me, but I will defeat him. I'm going to beat it round the chops with a wet fish, the support of some amazing friends and of course, with a handful of mood-lifting antidepressants that I will throw into his eyes...

With regards to the broken heart, it never gets easier, no matter how many times you have been through it, not for me at least. I'm not entirely sure whether it is easier if you have been the one that was dumped, or it is actually harder if you are the one that made the decision, and then lived to regret it when it is too late. Either way, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. They say "it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all". At this very moment, I'm not entirely sure if I agree with that.

The thing is, if you love someone, 'moving on' is easy in words, but a darn sight harder on paper. Even when the other person has quickly found happiness in the arms of someone else (as has happened in my case), it's hard not to question whether that person really loved or respected you that much in the first place. Despite this, I can still say that I love and care very much for my ex. I want him to be happy, he may not be aware of it, but he means a lot to me, and I miss him terribly. Unfortunately, I wasn't very good at telling him this in the first place, maybe this is a legacy of being bloody English, so understandably, he has no reason to care about that now. A case of too little too late..

DOGS AND CATS

I know that men and women are very different, like cats and dogs; dogs being men of course. However I'm a dog-lover though and through, which means that I am in for a bumpy ride.

It is true that after a break-up women spend a good month crying, talking a lot with their friends, going round and round in circles, trying to analyse the situation, and often not getting any answers. We go from feeling low, to feeling angry, and then hopefully out the other side with a George Clooney on your arm (or whatever your poison is of course). It's a round the world trip without frills or thrills. There are no bungie-jumps on this trip, no swimming with dolphins and you are certainly not going to have an amazing tan that you can show off to your friends. But, it is a trip that you have to take, armed with the hope that you will come out of it the other side stronger.

Generally, the thought of dating someone else within the next few months is as appealing as eating an egg sandwich after you have just thrown up after a heaving night of drinking. Sex with someone else can also be a bit pointless. Yes, I tried it, and no, it didn't make me feel any better. Although I understand that everyone is different, I can't tar us all with the same brush! Generally, we find it difficult to get distracted by other men during this time, that is not how we succeed in moving on, not initially at least. Most men however, tend to be different. 

I think the most frustrating thing for many of us, is that after a break up, men seem to deal with it so much better and seem to move onto someone pretty quickly; or at least quicker than we do. I'm in awe of men in that they have this capability to effectively put the failed relationship in a box*, store it away, and look for the next one.

 (*for those men that literally put their whole ex-girlfriend in a box, I'll have another blog entry dedicated solely for you, don't worry, it will be under the title of 'Psychopaths').

 The more 'Pro-active' of those seem to have the added forsight of seeing that a relationship is likely to end, and so start to sow the seeds of starting a new relationship with another viable candidate. Like a monkey hanging on to two branches. In this way, they can have a seemless transition from one break-up to the start of something exciting and fresh with someone else. I hate to say it, but I do envy this trait, and I wish that I could inherit it. I would even pay at a discounted rate of course! Any offers? Maybe I could find a hand-me-down on eBay?

FRIENDS

So, for me right now, I am grateful for one thing. I have amazing friends. I want to shout that from the rooftops, maybe I should use good old social networking for this ! I can change my relationship status from 'single' to 'I have amazing friends'. Just an idea...

At this very moment, as I'm writing this sitting in my local Starbucks in Liverpool street, I have leaky watery eyes, a look that is 'SO HOT RIGHT NOW', although to be honest red eyes don't suit me, they clash with my lips. However for the first time this week, these tears are tears of gratitude, not just sadness. I dedicate this post to the following people who have tried tirelessly to hold me up over the past couple of months, and especially over the last week since I fell into the horrible dirty ditch. I love you lots, and I don't think you have any idea how you have saved me. You are true friends, and your daily little texts and calls mean a lot to me.:

Nicola, Kate E and Sarah D, Kate, Stephen, Al and of course, my lovely friend in Bologna, FA.

INTRODUCING 'MISS BUNNY'

Now, I don't want my blog to become too serious of course despite my current state of mind, so on a final note, I'm going to try and leave it on a high. Last week I had my first try of wearing a gimp mask, and for those who are friends with me on Facebook, you will have seen this already. The great thing about the gimp mask, is that you automatically take on a different personality. For me, this alternate personality manifested itself in the form of ''Miss Bunny' with a posh English accent and an air of naughtiness. The only problem was that without a mouth piece, it was very difficult to drink my rum and coke...well you can't have everything I suppose..

 

xxxx

Oyster soup...

So last night was a full-moon, and I spent the evening on the beach, sharing a bottle of wine and enjoying the culinary delights courtesy of Yvonne. Full moons represent new beginnings, new journeys which I think is very apt considering in a few days I will be beginning my life back in London again. I also took the opportunity to have a few private words with the sea (yes I do talk to the sea, slightly crazy you may say, but she is a good listener), so I hope she took my questions and requests on board! 

One thing that I really wanted to do here was to meet and hang out with actual locals, as it seems all to easy to live here and only get to meet ex-pats and holiday makers. However last night I had the opportunity. Armed with a glass of red wine, Yvonne and I made our way down the beach to gatecrash a bonfire party and eat a local delicacy called Oyster Soup, drink a few (too many) cognac cocktails - caribbean strength and meet some really cool guys. Of course this morning greeted me with a case of dehydration, predictably! But I can safely say that that was one of the best nights that I have had since I've been here! 

So I'm aware that there hasn't been any photographic evidence that I was actually here. Anyone who knows me understands that I prefer to be behind the camera rather than in front of it, so if anyone manages to capture a photo of me they should consider themselves very lucky (or unlucky depending on which way you look at it). However one unlucky blighter stole a cheeky photo of me the other night whilst I was enjoying expresso martinis with a couple of friends at the bar, and it ended up in the local paper. Of course I can't remember this photo being taken, but before you pass judgements, this does not mean I was too drunk. It has more to do with my incredibly bad memory. Well that is my excuse and I'm sticking to it..

I'd like to add that despite the caption at the bottom of the photo (cute couples), none of us are in fact 'a couple', it's amazing what people assume!

Yesterday I spent the day editing my first ever 1 minute-film. OK, so it's not a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but it was good to learn the editing process and to see where I went wrong, and what I could improve. I'll upload this 'behind the scenes' film in the next few weeks so we can watch and laugh together...

Anyway, bye bye for now!

xx

Maho beach at sunset (photo)

In the quest to find the perfect sunset, we found ourselves at Maho beach. Unfortunately there were too many clouds for this elusive 'perfect sunset', however the sight was pretty spectacular all the same.....

Cheerio for now..

Samantha x
www.samanthaeyers.com

Reflection...

As an only child, I've always been used to entertaining myself, and as a result, I'm very comfortable in my own company; too comfortable in fact. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very sociable person, I love to be around people, but I know that I need at least 1 hour a day where I have my own space. That space doesn't have to very big, in fact it can be the size of a broom cupboard, as long as I'm the only one in it for that 1 hour, I'm all good.*

*This extends to cockroaches and mosquitos of course, they are not allowed to enter my broom cupboard for .....ETERNITY!

 However, what I have realised is that there seems to be a very narrow time window between benefiting from having my own space, to driving myself a little bit crazy.

I know that in previous posts, I have eluded to the fact that I spent too much time on my own in Italy. At the time, I knew that this was not having the most positive affect on my life, but it wasn't until I came to Sint Maarten, that I have realised how much of an effect this time alone actually had and is still having. I often think that it is difficult to be truly introspective, and to have an accurate idea of any effects until you gain an objective view from an outside party. Now my boyfriend at the time had expressed that he thought that I was depressed, and at the time, I couldn't recognise this; not in the slightest. The symptoms of what I was feeling seemed very different to any low periods that I had experienced in my life before. I didn't have any trouble sleeping (apart from my very self-publicised battle with the dreaded heat and odd mosquito) nor did I have issues getting out of bed, which is always another sign that I am aware of....

 However, I have noticed one thing. Photography is something I'm passionate about. Thinking about concepts, the shoot process and the post-processing is something that makes me so happy, I can't explain it. I've not found anything else in my life that gives such satisfaction and joy (apart from the obvious of course, love etc), so when I find that I don't feel compelled to pick up my beloved camera, I don't feel inspired to think about concepts or to go and take photos; I know that something is up! Some people could call it photoblock!

 During my time in Italy and Sint Maarten, I have taken very few photos, very few, I would go so far as to say "ridiculously few", but then I'm also prone to a bit of exaggeration as you are probably already aware of. However, I think one of the most accurate views comes from someone who knew you from before. One of my good friends last week told me that when she came to visit me in Italy, she had noticed that apart from losing a lot of weight (yes I was living in Italy and yes I did lose weight, how is this possible I hear you cry!), I was "not myself' and didn't seem totally happy. As we all know, when you are in that frame of mind, you don't make great decisions, in fact you can make downright awful ones, based on a rather skewed mind. Things that seem like important things at the time, you begin to realise, really aren't.

I have 7 days now until I return to London. The first week here in Sint Maarten I learned a lot about magazine shoots, putting together quotes, negotiating with the client and how to hold a tripod successfully whilst standing in a swimming pool. The last 3 weeks I have spent reading a lot about photography and teaching myself a lot on photoshop and post-processing. I really have read so much during this time, that I now have big square eyes...a very attractive look.

 However, this time has also confirmed for me a number of things, and I finally can say that I know what things and which people are important to me and those that aren't. This realisation only took 38 years!! So, I'm going to be returning to London with a suitcase and a head full of ideas and goals. I really do hope that Air France don't lose my luggage again, but at least the ideas and goals are placed firmly in my head, so the only person to blame for losing my head will be me...

So, with all experiences in life, you have to take home at least one thing, but as I'm the queen of overkill, I've provided a short list of the things I have learnt over the past 6 months, in order of importance:

a) For me, too much time on your own is not a good thing unless you wish to flirt with the experience of having a crazy mind. Always dangerous if you already are a bit nuts (some call it creative, but to me it often comes hand in hand)

b) As friendly as you are, and not matter how easily you make friends, mosquitos will never be your friend. Accept it, and move on..

c) If its 40 degree outside , you are going to sweat, looking sexy and attractive is not an option. Accept it, and again, move on...

d) Often the people that you have only known for 5 minutes can have more of an impact on your life than those you have know for 5 years. People will continue to surprise you.

e) As good as it is to be spontaneous in many things in life, grab life by it's hairy balls, experience as much as you can, and take a chance. There are some things that require more time and consideration, so you won't lose anything by testing the water with your big hairy toe first, before throwing your body in the deep end.

f) Nobody's perfect, at least of all me. Focus on the positives of others, and try not to pay too much attention to their negatives. Note: If you possess a mental tickbox of your requirements in another person, throw it away. No-one will tick all of those boxes, believe me!

g) I hate mosquitos...(maybe this one should be at the top of the list)

Good day for now!

Big love to all xxxx

The search for Happy Bay..(photos)

Hello!

Here are some photos that I wanted to share with you of my trip around Sint Maarten today with my friend Yvonne.

Whilst taking lunch on the French side of the island, we had a fantastic view of these local children enjoying the sea.

Not bad eh....?

Whilst taking a break from the heat with an ice-cold orange juice besides the marina, this little fella came to join us and patrol the area...

Late afternoon, in our quest to find 'Happy Bay', we took a swim in the sea. I don't know what was in the water, but I felt at home swimming here; a respite from any worries or pain, as if the sea truly understood me....

A short drive later, after picking up a few drinks, we sat on Baie Rogue to watch the sunset. We were a little late to see the sun setting, but the colours were amazing. The scene looked like a watercolour painting. We sat here until the sand flies and mosquitos started to attack us with a vengeance..

So, for now it is a goodnight from me..lots of love xx

www.samanthaeyers.com

Annoying fonts!

Apologies for the funky/slightly erratic and very annoying change in font in the last post. I have no idea why on this occasion this occurred, and for some reason I can't rectify it !

Delroy leaves....

Well Delroy has finally left me. I can only assume that he has left me for another woman, one with scales. Normally I would find him sitting on top of the coffee percolator first thing in the morning, waiting for me. He had obviously sussed-out my morning routine; good boy.

                                          (Exhibit A: Delroy on his way to the coffee percolator)

I'm not going to lie, his departure has left me feeling even more empty that I already felt. My glass was half-full when he came along, now all I'm left with is some water marks and a lipstick smudge. I hope you enjoy the analogy..

Of course I can't blame him, what I could offer Delroy was limited in terms of what another sexy lizard could have provided. Wit, charm and the odd cockroach meal was obviously not enough for him; you can't please some people..

Anyway, what did 'greet me' last night was another bloody cockroach. I knew that this was a new addition to the family as he was different to the others. I know them on a first name basis now; the little sh*ts. This one took refuge under my bed, and regardless of it's little size, I may as well have Freddy Kreuger under my bed for the amount of mental torment I have through the night knowing that it is 'JUST THERE'... In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say that I think I would prefer it if it was Freddy Kreuger. At least there is more chance of getting a decent conversation out of him. 

So yesterday I was assisting on a shoot for a campaign for a telecommunications company here on the island. It was a good day as the production team and the models were all lovely! The models in this case were all people from the island who were well-known for their contribution to the community, so when you are not working with actual models, there will always be some people who are not comfortable in front of the camera, and need to be 'worked on' a little.

We had one such model yesterday. The photographer tried and tried to get this guy to smile, with no avail. I even performed my crab dance to try to get a smile out of the guy, but again, my sweet moves failed to impress. So, the conclusion was that a 'female touch' was needed. Maybe this guy would feel more confortable if I took the photos? mmmm...

Well, after about 10 minutes of clicking away, trying to make him laugh (I'm obviously not that funny) and telling him to give me a nice big smile, he left, and we were without that 'big smile' that we were after. Now there are times in your life when you wish that the ground would rise up and swallow you, and this was one of these occasions. Reason being, is that shortly after this guy left, we were informed that he didn't possess a set of TEETH!!   So were were certainly 'flogging a dead horse' on this occasion...

So currently I'm working on my concept book. Basically my concept book is a BOOK (funnily enough) where I write my CONCEPTS. Concepts for photography ideas. For those of you lucky enough to have seen my CONCEPT BOOK (it's so important that it warrants capital letters) you will also have had the chance to see the beautiful illustrations (stick men) that I draw to bring my concepts to life. Van Gogh eat your heart out (or your ear).....

(Exhibit B: This is not one of my actual concepts, as I don't want to give away all of my ideas, but I thought that you would appreciate my artistic talent)

Laters potatoes, chat soon....

Big love xxxx

Delroy....

Well my battle with mother nature continues, although I can't moan. I do receive a free of charge early morning alarm call from the singing cockroaches at about 4am, who needs lie-ins anyway? It doesn't have the same 'ring' to it as being woken up by the sounds of birds singing, but beggars can't be choosers...

I've certainly learnt about the art of survival in the past few weeks, as most people who walk within 1/2 mile radius of me will already know. Who needs to spend tons of cash on expensive perfume when you can douse yourself with 'eau de DEET' and not only smell fantastic, but feel safe in the knowledge that your blood is safe, and free from the threat of violation? So I can safely say that I am well and truly ' knocking the locals dead with my presence'. This perfume certainly has the 'Lynx effect', as for the first time in my life everyone turns round when I enter the bar, shortly before holding their noses...

I seemed to have a made a very good friend here in Sint Maarten, and he is called 'Delroy'. I found him in my apartment after I had taken a late afternoon stroll on the beach, and he was here, waiting for me. I'm not a spiritual person, but I do think that someone or something sent him to call round to cheer me up, and he certainly did that; mission accomplished. Here is a photo of my beloved Delroy...

So life is all about choices and decisions (if you are lucky to have them of course!), and as you know, I'm not very good at making them. However, the one thing I do have at my disposal is a heart, and rightly or wrongly, I tend to make my decisions based on this vital organ. Although I'm still not talking to my heart right now, as I feel that she provided me with bad advice (can you sue a heart?).  She is however, telling me that as beautiful as it is here, this is not the place where I will be. For every person that you meet, and every place that you visit, you come away with something; positive or negative*  and from that you become richer as a person. I've already learnt some things in my time here, both photography related and things of a more personal nature, so I can't moan, but my journey will continue beyond these shores, hopefully with a richer brain and a fuller heart.

(*maybe in this case a leg full of mosquito scars)

So it's a goodnight from me and Delroy from now..

Big love xxx

From Italy to Sint Maarten

Ok, so I will have to admit that I didn't come through on my promise from my last update that you wouldn't have to wait so long for my next instalment. I'm not one to deliver empty promises, so I hope on this occasion you can find it in your hearts to forgive me; well on this occasion anyway..

So since we last met a lot has happened. I completed the 5 months in Bologna, well 4.5 months to be exact, and although I have no regrets; to summarise, I can safely say that it was 'bloody hard at times'! Learning a new language is no 'mean feat' but when you are creeping towards the big 40 (and believe me I'm not running towards it with open arms :)), learning a new language ain't that easy! One thing that I didn't factor in was the adjustment to going 'back to school' after 20 odd years. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it as many times as I wanted to pick up my school bag and leave, but there were many occasions when I felt like the classroom 'dunce'. It's also important to add that the teachers at the school were absolutely lovely, and went out of their way to provide you with encouragement.

They say that time alone allows you to really get to know yourself. ..me, myself and I. Well, I can safely say that we have the perfect love/hate relationship. It's great to hang-out with myself ever-so-often, but she does have a tendency to get on my nerves at times. Laughing at your own crap jokes can wear thin after a while...

OK, OK, I know that I'm starting to sounds like I suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, but anyone who knows me will know that this self-deprecating manner in which I speak should be taken with a pinch of salt * and about half an ounce of jest. (for those using metric, that's about 14.79 ml). 

*Of course I don't recommend exceeding on your daily salt intake

I met some lovely people during my time in Bologna, some of which I cal call friends. I should change the names to protect the innocent, but I'm going to be cruel and reveal their identities..

So firstly there was F.A. I met F.A. through a conversation exchange that I joined when I feared that I wasn't meeting any other people to hang out with at the school (and of course to practice my Italian). Like very few people that I meet in life, I found an instant rapport with this reggae-loving half Israeli, half Italian guy. F.A. had an insatiable interest in almost everything, which in turn made him pretty wise in such a young body. There are some people in life that have the tendency to suck the life out of you at times, but he was the opposite. If you ever needed someone to lift your spirits, and help you put things into perspective; this was your guy.

Then came the lovely Giorgio, the singer, actor (and sometime drag artist) with the biggest heart. On a few occasions he would ask me to listen to one of the songs he had written to see if there were any grammatical errors, this task was always a great pleasure. He also had a very impressive selection of make-up and make-up brushes, and although i'm not a girly-girl, this kind of thing can leave a girl green with envy. :)

There was also a few other nice guys that I met along the way, Nunzio, a great guy who really put my Italian to the test with his high-speed style of talking, and Luca, a guy I unfortunately only had the chance to meet in person once, but you have never met a guy who loves his dog so much until you have met Luca. A few times I was sent some very sweet photos of Luca with the love of his life...a cute yorkshire terrier called Lulu. 

One lovely guy who remained in London during this time and provided me with a lot of support was my boyfriend at the time; the lovely Adrian. Despite the fact that his girlfriend had decided to spend 6 months away in Italy and then a month or so in Sint Maarten, he always provided me with encouragement, and for this I appreciate him dearly; even if I didn't always show it.

So, my original plan was to stay in Bologna til the beginning of September, and spend a month travelling down to Sicily. However, plans are 'made to be broken' (or is that rules...?) and I cut short my time in Italy by 6 weeks to change direction. Before I go into my reasons for doing this, I want to give you some advice; so don't say that I never give you anything! If you decide to visit Bologna, I seriously recommend that you DON'T go in the summer, unless you have accommodation with air conditioning. Bologna in the 38-40 degree heat and positioned 1.5 hours from the nearest sea, should win the award for 'furness of the year'. I spent many hours spread-eagled across the bed (no rude thoughts here please, this is not the time not the place) doing a fantastic impression of a squashed insect. This was my futile attempt to increase my body surface area to the point where I could expel some of the residual heat that my lifeless body was having some issues disposing of. I bought a fan for about 15 Euros, but it didn't quite 'cut the mustard' unless the fan was literally on full blast and lying on top of me. 

I've also learnt that I attract 'mozzies' like no-one else (endearing term for mosquitos, not that they deserve it). The little fu**ers smell my sweet tasty blood a mile off, maybe I should cut down on my sugar intake. So, with my ongoing battle with the heat, I declared war on the mozzies as well. Important decisions had to be made every night, such as:

 A) Door open, mozzies in, let the hunger games begin... or

 B) Door closed, no bloody air, prepare for 50% loss of body fluids. I often opted for the later...my blood is important to me, after all, they do say blood is thicker than water.

So, tired from this ongoing civil war, I decided to use the remaining money that I had to pursue the one thing that I love doing (photography) and come to Sint Maarten to visit a photographer friend of mine called Yotam, 'bleed him dry' of his knowledge and experience. He has regular work for a magazine here, as well as others things in the pipeline, so already I have had the opportunity to see what goes on in the production of the next edition of the magazine.

So, in my quest to evade getting sucked- back into clinical research on my return to London...I'm here!

I can safely say that I live in paradise. I'm staying on the beach, I fall asleep to the waves and wake-up with them, but paradise comes with a cost, and this cost comes in the form of creepy crawlies. Just when I thought it was safe to go back outside, in comes the.. (wait for it..) DAY MOZZIES!! These little sods don't abide by the dusk/dawn curfew, oh no. They like to 'hang-out' during the day and physically and mentally torture people like me. They are the 'hoodies of the insect world' and I'm in my right mind to issue them with an A.S.B.O. * or even a little bit of Jihad.

    *For those outside of the U.K., A.S.B.O. stands for Anti-Social Behaviour Order, which are like the B.M.X. bikes of the 1980's; every teenager wants one.

I, of course appreciate the requirement for these little blighters to exist in the circle of life(I feel a bit of Elton John coming on..Hakuna Matata), but all I ask is that they exist in someone else's circle. That's not too much to ask is it?

Anyway, enough about pests and hoodies, I think I have devoted too much of my time to them already.

So, in a nutshell, I've assisted on a few shoots already (Bikini shoot, cover-shoot, etc) for the October edition of the magazine. I'm trying my hand at doing some video shorts, a kind of 'behind the scenes', not Quentin Tarantino in me just yet. So, that's enough from me for now, cheerio!...Big love xx

The return..

OK, so I'm back! I hope that you have missed me; maybe not.....

So it's been 7 weeks since I arrived, and in a strange way, it feels like I have been here a lot longer! Of course, when I say that I feel like I have been here at lot longer, I don't mean that my language skills have improved so much that I feel like a local; oh no. However, I've tried to put myself in situations where I can at least practice a little. Since my last update, I joined a 'conversation exchange' . I've met quite a few people this way, mostly from the south of Italy funnily enough. Of course, their English is always better that my Italian! 

With regards to the earthquake yesterday, this following sentence is an insight into my slightly crazy mind. This was the first night that I had spent in the new flat, so when woken by your bed shaking erratically and the whole flat shuddering at 4am, a normal person living in Italy would surmise that it would most likely be the result of an earthquake. However, not sure if it is a combination of watching too many episodes of crime watch, or horror films as a child; but I awoke to the conclusion that either an intruder with a cheeky sense of humour had decided to break into my room and start shaking the bed, or the most likely event, would be that my room was haunted by poltergiest, and they were sending me a very firm warning that I was not welcome in the room. Tiredness can do strange things to the mind, well that is my excuse and I'm going to stick with it. As a precautionary measure, I may have to track down an old preist to perform an exorcism just in case. You can never be too careful...

For those that knew me back in London, you will be familiar with my constant Facebook updates regarding the metropolitan line, and I do look back with very unfond memories of my 1 hour and 45 minutes commute to Uxbridge (or Suxbridge as it is more fondly known). I'm sure that none of you miss those little rants that I used to have on a bi-weekly basis. However, now I really don't have anything to whinge about on my journey to school. Ok, there have been a few moments where I have nearly been 'mowed down' by a pensioner on a bike, or a small dog has tried to have a little chew at my ankles; but I can safely say that my commute is event free. However, I have realised that even though I have been here for 7 weeks, my walking pace is still that of a Londoner on speed compared to the rest of Bologna. To me, the walking pace is so slow, it is almost stationary, and if there are two or more people walking side by side; straddling the pavement; you have a challenge on your hands. There are skills to be had in navigating around other pedestrians here, without tripping over the ankle-biters on the leash, however I think I have finally perfected them. I'm not sure how transferable these skills are, maybe I should put these on my CV....

So, over the next few weeks I will be revising for this exam. Yes, I know I'm crazy, this exam was not compulsory, but the sado-masochist in me decided that I needed to add a bit of stress in my life now that me and the metropolitan life had parted company...

Anyway, enough from me for now!

xx

Chipped tooth...

Today the sun has finally decided to show it's face, although I think the forecast for next week is more rain. Since my last update, I have come to the realisation that it is actually warmer outside of my room than inside. In my room, I have a daily battle to bring back any form of sensation to my hands and nose, other than the first signs of frost bite. The one saving grace however, was that even if it was warner outside, at least it wasn't raining indoors! Well, until thursday morning that is. Thursday morning welcomed me with open arms on my way to the kitchen by water from the upstairs flat coming through the ceiling. Or should I say 'falling' through the ceiling? I think that conveys more accurately the ACTUAL amount of water that was coming through a lot more precision. Anyway, I managed to find one small bowl which would catch about 20% of the water at least….

For those of you who didn't or who were not able to see my Facebook update on friday, I celebrated the end of the week by cracking and chipping my front tooth after eating a bloody apple of all things. I was wondering why this particular apple was so crunchy. After I had finally hypothesised that this crunchiness could indeed be a part of my tooth, it was too late, I had swallowed it…crunch crunch.

I've completed my third week of studies now, and I'm ready for more of a challenge. There is one particular 'character' in the class who threw a bit of a strop last week, I think due to pure frustration, and also due to the fact that at the ripe old age of 70+ I don't think he has really matured that much in the past 50 years. Maybe that will be the case for most of us..cling onto your youth I say..

I've added a couple of photos to this post. The first one is of me sitting at my desk in the area I call 'The nerve centre' . This is where all of the learning is supposed to take place. Note, that I used the word 'supposed' …. 

The second photo is a photo of me sitting in my bedroom, about two inches to the right of the nerve centre. The photos are a little 'poser-ish' I know, but I was hardly going to post a photo of me in my PJ's was I? I also want to add that I'm aware that the lack of socks in these photos gives the false impression that it is in fact barmy in my room, and all this talk of it being freezing cold is all in fact a load of bo**ocks on my part. However in a pure act of vanity, I decided that my summer clothes would look a lot better in the photos than my H&M jumper (which now has holes in after just 2 weeks) and woolly socks. 

Anyway, I'm hoping that in my next post I will have found some friends to hang out with, this 'billy no mates' look just doesn't suit me. It's just not my colour….

xx

The Kids of Bologna....